It can happen to any of us. We save up for the dream trip and travel the world with the hope of living out our dreams. We pack our expectations and imaginations along with our Teva sandals, passports, and travel journals, eagerly anticipating fulfilling them all and returning home enriched and with new adventures in our backpacks.
And then the unthinkable happens. The adventure is missing. The trip becomes mundane, we get sick, we get bored, or something else blocks our travel joy. In any case, we find ourselves in the middle of the trip, and it turns out not to be as great as we had hoped.
So what do you do then?
Now, I’m not focusing on the end of the world or doomsday here. But I know from experience that traveling is a major event, not just in my life but for most people, who spend months and even years saving and planning for the long-awaited trip.
And we are all different, and naturally, different things are needed. However, I think that if you find yourself somewhere in the world and your trip has “stalled”– the adventure is missing – you might find some value in the thoughts and experiences our little family has had.
When the adventure was missing on our dream trip
We had talked about the trip for a long time. As usual, we decided on the destination shortly before we were set to leave. But we had long dreamed of traveling far away.
And now the time had finally come. We were flying to Singapore, the first time for both Peter and Sebastian, and I was returning to the city I had visited many times before. From there, we were going to travel on to Bali, where we planned to spend three weeks exploring. All in all, we would be away for four weeks.
It was our first overseas trip with a child. Sebastian had just turned seven. There was nothing we hadn’t talked about showing him.
He would see a tropical island for the first time. He would experience skyscrapers, eat Asian cuisine, swim and dive at tropical beaches… feel the tropical heat when the airport doors opened, and he stepped outside.
Yes, we envisioned it all. It was sure to be fantastic. All four weeks.
And it was, until…
But at first, it went well.
It was an adventure. Singapore, the palm trees, Gardens by the Bay, the tropical heat that made us sweat profusely.
There was also Bali… Ubud and all the wonderful things we experienced… the fire dance, the monkeys in Monkey Forest, the swimming pool…
Yes, we were immersed in adventure.
And then we arrived in Candidasa.
Candidasa made us pull ourselves together.
Candidasa is a town located on the east coast of Bali. We chose to travel there because we could see there was a beach to swim in and because we thought the town was strategically located for our further travels around Bali afterwards.
Through Airbnb, we booked a house for 7 days. After 3 days, we had had more than enough and decided to leave the rental behind and began to look for another place to travel to.
What went wrong?
Candidasa wasn’t what we dreamed of. The house we had rented was indeed right by the beach, and the house itself was fine. But we couldn’t swim at the beach; there was only a tiny strip of sand, and it was littered with trash and debris.
The town lacked authentic life, and we were exhausted from the noise of cars zooming up and down the only street where we wandered back and forth to do “something.”
We went on a couple of excursions, but every time we returned to the town and our “home,” we felt disheartened and restless. One day, I realized that we weren’t happy anymore. Smiles didn’t come as often, and we had started to snap at each other.
Should we just tough it out and spend our precious time in Bali hoping it would get better?
After an honest conversation, we agreed that it was time to change course.
We hadn’t traveled to the other side of the world, to some of the most exciting countries, without feeling like we were living our dream.
So what did we actually want?
That was really the crux of it all. We didn’t actually know. Here we were, in Candidasa, Bali, and we had no idea what we really wanted here. Crisis!
After a couple of days of intense reflection on what had gone wrong and how to get back on track, we finally found the way forward – and what our next step towards our Asian adventure should be.
But first, we had to go through the whole gamut of our inner values, our travel experiences, and where we were – right here and now.
We realized that we had changed since we had traveled overseas many years ago, back when we were lovers without a child. Our needs had changed. We wanted something different today.
We also realized that we didn’t want to travel in the way that others recommended to us because we were a family.
We wanted to travel exactly the way we needed to.
And to bring back the adventures, we had to be brave and acknowledge our limitations and needs and choose based on our gut feelings. Regardless… the fear that we would lose the adventure again.
We took the chance.
We terminated the lease. Ignored the fact that we couldn’t get our money back. Instead of crying over spilled milk, we turned our noses north, towards Amed, away from the town and into nature… where we found the Bali we were looking for and snorkeled on the coral reefs.
That’s how you get back on track, where the adventures lie.
It sounds easy, doesn’t it? But it actually took many days of intense searching and talking, and it cost us our sleep before we cracked the code ourselves. We were faced with a luxury problem, but when you’re on the other side of the world with a child who wants to know where they’ll be for the next several weeks, there’s a different kind of pressure.
In reality, it’s probably just typical of us. We put ourselves in situations that we need to learn from. And the situation here can directly apply to the way we live our lives back home too.
Anyways.
The 3 important questions you can advantageously ask yourself next time the adventure is missing from your dream trip
Here are some questions you can use to rediscover your core values, find peace, and create adventure.
- What values are important for you and your family to function optimally?
- Which habits (from home) do you miss – and which ones would you like to introduce during the trip?
- Adventure often awaits just beyond your comfort zone. Where will you start the adventure that makes your heart beat faster?
10 tips as a last resort (especially for you, traveling long with kids)
Here are some experiences we’d like to pass on to you, out there in the world, when the adventure seems lost.
- Know that on a long journey, no matter how fantastic the destination and adventurous the trip, there will be times when you get bored, things don’t go as planned – and the adventure is missing.
- If you’re traveling as a family, there will be many times when you’ll think, “Okay, I’ll do that next time I come to this country.” You don’t have to do everything with your child on this trip. Life is (presumably) long.
- Even if you’re traveling with kids, it’s not necessarily a given that you and your family are into entertainment and “family places.” There’s nothing wrong with that.
- Nor is it guaranteed that your child will find pre-defined children’s entertainment interesting.
- Your child loves being with you. Doing things together with you. And expressing curiosity – and playing. There are plenty of opportunities for that without amusement parks, kid-friendly beaches, and European food with fries.
- Conditions for children aren’t always 100% optimal. Sometimes the food just isn’t suitable for little, Western tongues. Sebastian loved white, sweet bread. And on some trips, during some periods, that’s what he lived off most of the day. He was fine. He survived. And got an ice cream for dessert.
- Long journeys can sometimes seem a bit mundane. That’s okay. It doesn’t matter. Enjoy having routines – and relax in them. You also need to put the autopilot on occasionally to avoid being dazzled by overstimulation every single minute.
- Don’t waste time being in places you don’t like. If you have the opportunity to seek something that better suits who you are and what your family needs, change course. Don’t cry over spilled milk. Rejoice that you seized the chance and opportunity.
- Are you lying awake at night trying to find your inner brave old self? But does your role as a mother/father with a child keep reminding you that you have an extra life to take care of? Be realistic, assess the conditions, and go with your gut feeling. Take the steps that fit you at your level of travel. You don’t need to be a superman or heroine. You’re already you, when you’re there for yourself and your child.
- Are you afraid of choosing wrong and repeating a bad experience? Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. It’s been our experience that adventures arise when you dare to let go of expectations and take (considered) chances – that’s when the adventures really begin to appear.
And why is adventure so important?
Adventure is incredibly important in my world because life is tough, and we go through so many things. Adventure represents the naive, unspoiled hope of getting a break amidst it all. A place we can all seek out to give meaning to the hardships we endure.
It makes everything sparkle and shine just a little bit more.
Did we find the adventure?
We had a fantastic journey, and we returned home with our baggage filled with adventure and a little wiser about ourselves and our travel habits. So yes, we did.
What do you think? Is adventure important in your life?
